Infection Prevention Week
Each year we host an Infection Prevention Week during October to show how we can all work together to keep babies safe from infection. We want to empower parents and carers to set boundaries.
Tell me a bit about you
We’re a very outdoorsy family. Ben and I met doing outdoor climbing and we have climbed all over the UK and in several other countries.
I’ve always dreamt of having two children called Cordelia and Magnolia since I was a little girl myself. I fell pregnant with Maggie just under a year after having Cordie, which was lovely as we really wanted our children to be close in age. We chose to not find out the sex until she was born.
Would you tell me more about your pregnancy with Magnolia?
My pregnancy was absolutely fine with Magnolia, I had hyperemesis again but this time it was managed with a new medication, whereas I’d been really poorly when I had Cordelia. Maggie arrived nearly two weeks late just like her big sister, and I had a lovely water birth with her. It was so perfect and empowering. Finding out she was a girl was such a special and magical moment for Ben and I.
We were so excited to start the rest of our lives together with our two daughters. We’d already envisioned our future as a family. Maggie looked a lot like her sister and her dad. It was so special when Cordie met her for the first time, she fell in love with her instantly.
It’s hard to think of all the blissful memories when so much sadness and grief engulfs any joy we did have, but one of our fondest memories is finding out how much she weighed. We thought she would only be small because I didn’t have a big bump, but finding out she was 8lb 11oz, we were in complete shock! She barely fit in newborn clothes!
As far as you’re comfortable talking about this period, can you tell me how you felt when Maggie passed away?
Maggie passed away at 10 days old in February this year from disseminated neonatal herpes, which led to multi-organ failure. It was caused by HSV-1 that had come from a cold sore. The virus came from me which is so devastatingly hard to now live with the fact. I had developed a primary HSV infection in my mouth the day I gave birth. A primary HSV infection is especially contagious as it is even easier to transmit. I didn’t know this, nor did I know it was actually HSV within my mouth.
Midwives and even pharmacists reassured me it wasn’t and didn’t tell me of the dangers. I don’t even know how I contracted the virus as no one around me had cold sores at the time, but that’s what’s so dangerous about it, it can be anywhere.
We believe that my oral infection spread to my breast and caused HSV mastitis, which seems likely the source of the infection in Maggie as I was breastfeeding. Tragically, we only became aware of herpes mastitis after she died so I continued to breastfeed her until it became excruciatingly painful and then I still gave her the expressed milk from the breast thinking it would help her be less lethargic like I was always told, but it may have actually been constantly infecting her.
All I can do now is make sure other families aren’t in the same position I am, in Maggie’s memory. Our family are heartbroken but we are doing what we can to raise awareness. Everyone’s heard of herpes, but there’s such a stigma attached to it. Most people have only heard of it as the STD. Unless you’re specifically told that a cold sore is the herpes virus, it’s not very intuitive.
I didn’t know a cold sore could kill my baby.
Had I at least been made aware of the dangers of a cold sore and the symptoms to look out for, my daughter would still be here today living the whole life she had ahead of her.
Do you think it’s important that families feel empowered to set boundaries with visitors when it comes to preventing infection?
The theme for Infection Prevention Week 2026 resonates with me massively. My baby died from HSV that came from me, but it could’ve been anyone. It all comes down to the fact that no one in our family or friends knew a cold sore could kill a baby despite most regularly having cold sores themselves. If I’d have known for either of my babies, I also wouldn’t have had anyone with a cold sore round for the first few weeks just in case. I think it’s so important that all parents know this. Newborns have immature immune systems so setting your boundaries is a must.
Cordelia was rushed to hospital the day after Magnolia passed away and was confirmed to have a primary HSV infection too, which she was quite poorly with. Anyone of all ages can contract and transmit this virus so it’s incredibly important to have the awareness of how fatal it is to newborns so appropriate boundaries can be set.
I constantly asked for advice about my lips and mouth and I even questioned if it could be a cold sore, but I wasn’t warned of the dangers or told how to prevent it getting to Magnolia. I never kissed her and I washed my hands regularly anyway as she was born in winter and I was worried about infections. I could’ve been advised to cover my mouth to ensure it wasn’t accidentally passed to her, including through contact with my breast while breastfeeding. I was reassured every day that Maggie’s symptoms were normal and they were consistently put down to breastfeeding complications and jaundice.
What would you say to a new parent who is worried about setting boundaries?
If you’re worried about asking family to not visit yet, or to wash their hands and not kiss the baby, I’d say please do your best to pluck up the courage. We discussed not having people round for the first week or two as Maggie was born in winter but it was so tricky to stick to because people were obviously so excited to visit. We had managed to find the courage to ask family members not to come round who were poorly even though they wanted to.
At the end of the day, it could save your baby’s life not having someone round. It’s worth the extra few days of not meeting them if it means you still get a lifetime worth of memories with them. If people saw what Maggie’s tiny body had to endure, they wouldn’t think twice about waiting to visit.
I think it needs to become normal and common sense not to go and visit a baby if you’re poorly or have a cold sore. The more parents that find that courage and know about the dangers of why you should firmly set your boundaries, the more it’ll become commonly accepted.
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What would you say to a visitor who doesn’t understand the importance of preventing infection?
If you’re planning on visiting a baby but you’ve been poorly recently, please remember it’s not worth the risk. This is also the case if you have a cold sore, you’re tempted to give a baby that isn’t yours a kiss, or you won’t wash your hands before holding them. People don’t think something awful will happen to them, until it does. And then you’re living with that for the rest of your life.
Meg
Were you told what symptoms to look out for?
I wasn’t given enough information about what symptoms to keep an eye out for in Magnolia, to check if she had an infection. I was given a big booklet about immunisations and another about safer sleep, but nothing about infections in general.
She presented with symptoms that developed over the first week of her life. These included starting to not wake for feeds, and breathing difficulties. This developed into severe lethargy, a high pitched weak cry, a large rash on her chest and around her mouth and eventually, a sore eye, looking grey, and feeling very cold to the touch due to going septic. Maggie underwent checks every day before being admitted into hospital at 8 days old but we were always reassured she was absolutely fine and just needed top ups of expressed milk to make her less lethargic. They never suspected an infection despite all her symptoms.
Ben and I really struggle to look back at photos of her now, because she actually looked so unwell. She was dying and we didn’t know because we (now what feels blissfully ignorantly) trusted what we were being told.
My mouth was full of ulcers, I had visible sores all over my lips, fever symptoms and a really sore throat, yet nothing was said about HSV and the dangers of it to a newborn, my symptoms were put down to other causes. I’d like better awareness on a national scale, from the public and from health professionals. Maggie wasn’t the first baby to die from a cold sore and unfortunately won’t be the last until it’s general knowledge. People say it’s rare, but it doesn’t feel rare when it’s happened to you.
I urge parents to seek immediate medical advice for their newborn if they or anyone in their family present with similar oral symptoms and have been around their baby. HSV doesn’t always present as an obvious cold sore. Just ask, could it be HSV? It will be fatal to a newborn if it’s passed on and not picked up early enough. Your baby may not show symptoms until it’s too late.
In what ways has The Lullaby Trust supported you?
I find it comforting to read the stories of other families on your website and Instagram, and I reached out to one mum whose baby also died from HSV. It’s easy to feel like you’re the only person in the world this has happened to, but reading those stories made me feel less alone. I know The Lullaby Trust’s bereavement support services are there if I need them, and if I ever feel I need help in the future.
What things do you do to remember Magnolia, or involve her in your life today?
We go up to the cemetery where she’s buried every day. It’s part of our routine now and has massively helped us. Sometimes we bring a picnic, and we also bring some feed to refill the bird feeders. Cordelia waters the flowers every evening and loves singing and blowing bubbles for Magnolia and the other babies around her. Maggie’s got a blossom tree just behind her and we often sit on the memorial bench we have close to Maggie and watch the birds in the tree – Cordie really knows her different types of birds now! We are also doing fundraisers for the charities who helped us which gives us a sense of purpose in these dark days.
We planted a magnolia tree in the garden with her placenta when she was born so it feels like she’s never far from us. We speak about her all day, every day.
Why did you choose to share your story today?
I want to do everything I can to ensure other parents don’t have to go through what we’re going through. This magnitude of this type of loss is incomprehensible unless you’ve experienced it. If I had seen more awareness about the dangers of cold sores beforehand, I wouldn’t be here telling this story. I can’t bring Maggie back, but if I can just save one family from having this heart ache, and stop one family from needlessly losing their baby, then I’ve done something good for Maggie whose death was tragically so preventable.
I don’t want to put fear into parents – there's enough to worry about already, but I think it’s so important that families are made aware, if they have a cold sore, the measures you can put in place to ensure the virus doesn’t pass to your newborn.
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