Plant a tree
Some find comfort in planting a tree or bush in memory of their baby. If you'd like, you can consider planting it in a large pot, so you can take it with you if you move.
Cherishing memories of your baby
There are many ways to remember a baby and keep their memory alive. These can be done at any time, and many find them especially meaningful on significant days like birthdays or anniversaries. This page can help explore what feels right, and offer ideas for any loved ones who may also want to find ways to remember. Many of the following activities can be done alone or together. They are suitable for children and can provide brothers and sisters with the chance to remember their sibling and talk about their grief.
Ways to remember your baby
Here are four ways you may decide to remember a baby who has died.
Get a memorial stone
Speak to your funeral director about having a memorial stone, plaque or bench in a meaningful place. If you're finding choosing the 'right' words difficult, it's ok to step away and come back to it.
Create a memory box or book
You might want to create a memory box or book, gathering items that help commemorate your child's life. This can be a meaningful activity for your family, bringing everyone together to reflect.
Naming a star in memory
Naming a star provides a symbol of eternal love and a way to keep their memory alive as the star becomes a unique, shining tribute in the night sky.
Memory boxes and books are also available to buy
Various charities such as Winston’s Wish and Child Bereavement UK sell memory boxes and memory books on their websites.
A Lullaby Memorial
You may also want to create your own special memorial page in tribute to your child. This page can be a place to share memories and photos, light virtual candles on special dates, and leave messages for your loved one. Setting it up is simple, quick, and free, and it can also be used to collect and record donations made in memory of a loved one.
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How Bridget and Zbig remember Paul
Zbig and I never miss a birthday or anniversary for Paul. We always put something on his grave. At Christmas, we make a miniature tree with food wrapped around for the birds to peck at. One of my biggest regrets is not having more photos of Paul, but we couldn’t afford and those that we have are fading rapidly. We keep his photos in the dark in a box to prevent them from fading.
Bridget, Paul's mum -
How Louise remembers Ellis
When my dad passed away, after his funeral, our family took some of the flowers from his casket to Ellis’ grave. We keep lots of photos in our house of Ellis, and when people ask, we tell them about him. We’ll buy Christmas tree decorations every year for both Alex and Ellis. We all remember Ellis in lots of ways.
Louise, Ellis' mum -
How Gareth remembers Milo
We have bad memories, but we have eight weeks of fantastic memories too, which is more than some families ever have. In his short life Milo George brought us so much happiness and joy – surely we can’t allow ourselves to forget that and mope over him instead?
Gareth, Milo's father -
How Brian remembers Bailey
My family remembers Bubba in everything we do. We had a birthday party for him. My daughter and family named a star for him, they all say good night to him and good morning to him when they wake. We know he is not here but we all know he is in our hearts and that is important.
Brian, Bailey’s grandfather -
How Sam remembers Olli
The main thing is to not be afraid to talk about your child. Keep their memory alive!
Sam, Olli’s mother
If you need support, call our bereavement helpline
Talk freely, for as long as required, with a sympathetic and understanding listener.
Ways to mark significant days
Blow bubbles
Not only are bubbles beautiful, but they also symbolise childhood innocence. The act of blowing bubbles, with its long outbreath, can be calming and help ease feelings of panic and distress.
Float flowers
You can let all the flowers float together, or attach memories, hopes, prayers, wishes, and thoughts to each one. Some families choose a species of flower which has symbolic meaning.
Write a name in the sand
Decorating it with found objects on the beach can be a beautiful activity to do alone or with others. Connecting with the natural world in this way can offer a sense of calm and grounding.
Write a note on seed paper
Seed paper contains wildflower seeds, and can be used to write a special message to your little one. As the message fades, beautiful wildflowers will grow in its place, offering a home for wildlife.
Light a candle
Lighting a candle is a meaningful way to remember. You can choose a storm lantern for safely lighting a candle outdoors, or purchase a remembrance candle from our online shop to keep the memory alive.
Activities for children
It’s important to give children the chance to remember their sibling, especially on anniversaries and special occasions. It can be helpful to plan in advance how these significant dates will be marked.
- Attending Lullaby Trust family days can be a way to honour the memory of your child while helping children connect with other families and children who have experienced a similar bereavement.
- Sharing memories of their brother or sister by looking at photographs and recalling events can be meaningful. A Lullaby Memorial can be personalised with photos and videos to help preserve those memories.
- Putting together a memory book or box can also be a special way to remember. Children might enjoy contributing a drawing or writing something to include in the box.
- They might like to keep something that belonged to the baby like an item of clothing or a toy.
- Some families choose to light a candle or make a cake on the anniversary of their baby’s birthday.
- Some families also choose to participate in charity events as a way of honouring their child and keeping their memory alive.
Become a befriender
Our befrienders are parents, grandparents, adult siblings and adult family members who feel the time may be right to offer support to other families following their own bereavement. We currently have a team of around 70 befrienders across the UK. Some families find healing in supporting others who have experienced a similar loss. If you feel ready and it’s been at least four years since your child’s death, becoming a Lullaby Trust befriender could be a way to help others while continuing to honor your own journey.
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Rob on being a befriender
Being a befriender and supporting others when they need it helps some meaning to come from what happened to us, and I’m always honoured that people share their stories with me.
Rob, befriender
Baby Loss Awareness Week
Baby Loss Awareness Week is an annual national event, taking place from 9 – 15 October in 2025. It offers a chance to raise awareness of baby loss, but also to remember. On 15th October, as part of the Wave of Light, you can light a candle in memory of a loved one and share a photo and message on our dedication page. You can also make a donation in their name.
During this Baby Loss Awareness Week, consider holding your own Little Stars Walk in your area to help raise vital funds and awareness for baby loss. By walking in memory of a loved one, you’ll create a lasting impact in their name.
Fundraising events and challenges
Many bereaved families choose to keep their little one’s memory alive through fundraising. Some opt to take on a physical challenge in their name. Training for a fundraising event like a half marathon or a mountain hike may feel like a daily act of care and remembrance for your child, while also benefiting physical and mental wellbeing. Starting your training or officially signing up to an event on a day that holds special meaning for you and your child can make it even more significant.
There are countless ways to get involved in fundraising. If you love football, you could organise a charity match. If you’re skilled at sewing or crocheting, you could sell your crafts at a local market. Whatever you’re passionate about can become a fundraising opportunity! Think about the things you and those around you enjoy, and let that inspire your efforts.
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Steven's story
Steven and family have been raising money in his son, Cooper's memory, since he died. Together they have raised over £50,000 in support of our work.
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Ellis' story
Louise and Jim’s first-born son was four days old when he died of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Louise shares Ellis’ story to help raise awareness, and to keep his memory alive.
Useful information
Family days out
Join The Lullaby Trust at a free family day for bereaved families, and meet other bereaved families and Lullaby Trust staff.
Grieving and common feelings
When someone we love dies, we experience overwhelming feelings of loss and sorrow, which we call grief.
A friend’s toolkit
Our friend’s toolkit will help you to help a friend whose baby or young child has died.