Fred’s story
Imogen and Stu have raised over £12,000 in memory of their son, Fred. Read their story and motivation for supporting our work.
Tell us a bit about you
I went to one of very few non-private schools in the country that have a combined cadet force unit attached within it. I went to school in military uniform from the age of 12, shot my first rifle by 13, had a main board pass for Sandhurst at 17 and helicopters would land in the school field. It was definitely not a conventional school experience! I’m currently taking a gap year in Australia, working in hospitality and doing some travelling before going to university at Bournemouth in September.
What are you doing to fundraise for The Lullaby Trust?
I’ve travelled across New Zealand and Australia, but I was really keen for a big cultural difference. My grandmother went to Nepal many years ago and said it was the most breathtaking place she’s been to. Remembering how the people and way of life was very different to back home.
My Everest Base Camp trek is taking me to a little above 5700m high, and it will be a 14 day trek up and down. I’ve never been exposed to altitude quite like this before. Some professional athletes find that their bodies just can’t adjust to the altitude, but I’m hoping I’ll be ok!
Why did you decide to fundraise for The Lullaby Trust?
During Covid, my aunty and uncle, Beth and Callum, lost their baby boy, Joshua, at one week old. Losing my cousin was of course an extremely painful time. What was strange, was that I never got to meet Joshua due to the pandemic. Because of the unknown risks of Covid and pregnancies, Beth and Callum were shielding as to keep the risk of any illness at a minimum so I didn’t get to see much of them through the pregnancy. And then due to lockdown again, Joshua’s funeral was subjected to the rules of having very few people present, so I was unable to attend.
At this time I was experiencing all this emotion and grief, and my family were (and still are) always talking about him, but I felt somewhat disassociated. I had nothing physical and no memories to attach my emotion onto. It was a very strange thing to process.
Beth and Callum did some fundraising for the Kit Tarka Foundation, and since The Lullaby Trust have now taken over their life-saving infection prevention work for babies, I was really keen to fundraise for them.
What was the impact of Joshua’s death on the family?
The period surrounding Joshua’s death was a particularly tough one. The day before Beth went into labour, my grandmother also had a pretty extreme stroke. The whole family experienced all of this grief in different ways. I was doing my GCSEs at the time. Now, whenever I get to know someone and I start to open up about what I’ve experienced, it can be hard to explain it all in one conversation. It was certainly a really difficult time for the whole family. Everyone got hit massively after losing Joshua. There has been a disproportionately large amount of tragedies in the family the years following the loss of Joshua and grief seems to be the status quo.
Beth and Callum shared their story with us two years after Joshua’s death. Can you tell us a bit about that?
After Joshua’s 2nd birthday, Beth spoke publicly about what happened, as she wanted to raise awareness about infection prevention in babies and speak about the memory of Joshua. After the Lullaby Trust shared a post about her on social media, a family responded. They had gotten medical attention for their child because of this post, which meant they caught their child’s infection early and saved their life.
This just proves to me how important it is to raise awareness of this issue, and how vital and life-saving The Lullaby Trust’s guidance and information can be.
What difference do you hope your fundraising will make?
Firstly, it’ll help me personally to cope with my bereavement. I do my best thinking when I’m outside. I love fishing and hiking, it allows me to think and process other parts of my life that I might be putting off. If my brain is occupied just enough without having to concentrate too hard on something, I find I can be with my own thoughts more. We usually go as a family to Joshua’s grave to sing carols every Christmas, but I had to miss it this year as I was away. Everest Base Camp will hopefully give me back this time to reflect, remember and process.
I also hope that my fundraising will support The Lullaby Trust to continue their work in researching and explaining the signs and symptoms to look out for to prevent infection in babies. Ultimately, I hope my fundraising keeps more babies safe, and ensures that grieving families receive the specialist support they need.
What would you say to anybody who is considering taking on a fundraising challenge for The Lullaby Trust, but isn’t sure where to start?
There’s nothing to lose! Something is still better than nothing! If you have the opportunity to fundraise, I would say do it. You might be surprised. People who I’ve not really spoken to in a while donated to my page which was so nice to see, and I was really grateful that despite not being in contact with them anymore, they cared enough about the story and cause to donate. Thank you for taking the time to read. Any support given means the world.
Discover more
Fundraising events and challenges
We’ve got a superb range of running, cycling, walking and other challenge events that are ready for you to conquer. They’re a fantastic way to raise money, get fitter and have lots of fun.
Living with grief
You may experience complex and overwhelming feelings following the death of a baby or young child.
Preventing infection
Babies are more vulnerable to infections than older children, especially in their first few weeks. Here you will find the signs and symptoms to look out for that your baby might be unwell.
You can support people like Matt
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.