Ellis’ story

Tell us about your pregnancy with Ellis 

My pregnancy was very straightforward. I didn’t get sick or even have any cravings. There was nothing untoward, and the birth was straightforward too. Ellis was born two weeks early, but he wasn’t classed as low birth-weight. 

He was born on the Wednesday, and we took him home on Friday night. I remember saying to the hospital before I left, “I’m so tired I could do with another day here”. But of course they needed the bed.

How were things when you brought Ellis home? 

Jim and I were really nervous to bring Ellis home. We had our parents helping us when we arrived home, but when they left, we thought, ‘What do we do now?’ We went to bed quite early, and it was that night that he died. He woke up around 2:00am for a feed, and because I was so tired, I fell asleep breastfeeding. 

When I woke up, my first instinct was to touch his head. I knew there was something wrong. My husband called for the ambulance. We got to the hospital and we were shown to the family room. I knew as soon as the doctor came into the family room that Ellis had died. 

When did you first speak to The Lullaby Trust? 

We knew we wanted help, but we didn’t know what help we needed. We knew we needed someone to talk to. I think my first call to The Lullaby Trust was to learn more about sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), the research that The Lullaby Trust were doing and potential causes. They sent me lots of useful information, because I wanted to learn more about the science and the facts. 

Our whole family then went on to do a lot of fundraising for The Lullaby Trust. I began telling our story in the media to raise awareness, and though it might be odd to say I enjoy working with The Lullaby Trust on these things, I really do. I feel as though talking about it, even if it only saves one baby’s life, it’s worthwhile. 

When was Alex, your second child, born? 

Alex was born the year after Alex died. He turns 21 this year and has just graduated as a watchmaker. We’re a very close family, and Alex has always known and talked about Ellis. 

How do you remember Ellis as a family? 

When my dad passed away, after his funeral, our family took some of the flowers from his casket to Ellis’ grave. We keep lots of photos in our house of Ellis, and when people ask, we tell them about him. We’ll buy Christmas tree decorations every year for both Alex and Ellis. We all remember Ellis in lots of ways. 

Jim and I recently wrote our wills and we did it via The Lullaby Trust for Free Wills Month. We have left a gift to The Lullaby Trust in our wills, and my mum, Jenny, did the same too. 

How did you find the process of writing your wills through our free service? 

It was something we put off for years and years, but doing it was very simple. Jim and I said to each other every year, “We need to write a will, we have a child!” Doing them with The Lullaby Trust during Free Wills Month was so convenient and simple. I’d seen solicitors charging hundreds for a very easy will, but our will is very simple and we were asked questions that we hadn’t even considered. 

We did it all via an online form where we could save our progress and go back to answer later. It was quick and easy and we chose to leave a gift in our will to The Lullaby Trust at the end of the process (though you don’t have to). 

Leaving a gift in our will to The Lullaby Trust is another way for us to remember Ellis. I like the fact that our legacy in Ellis’ memory will go towards supporting other families and research that can find more answers. Ellis’ legacy, and ours, lives on through The Lullaby Trust.