Harvey’s story
Karen's first-born, Harvey, died of meningitis which went undetected despite three hospital visits. She wants his story to be his legacy.
Tell us about Jagger
Jagger was a quiet, sweet baby. He looked just like me. He loved nothing more than a cuddle. From the beginning he had a rough start, born by emergency c-section due to foetal distress and then getting COVID shortly after coming home. But he was a fighter. His name was an easy choice, because I’d always loved it and it really suited him.
How old was Jagger when he died?
Jagger was one month and 10 days old when he died.
Losing Jagger has shattered my world into so many pieces. The first year after losing him is mostly a blur, I dissociated through so much of it. The second year, I was pregnant again with his sister, Clover, and it was deeply triggering.
How did The Lullaby Trust support you?
Before I found The Lullaby Trust’s bereavement support group on Facebook, I often felt completely alone. Family and friends tried to be supportive, but it’s hard for them to understand. In the group, I could post pictures of Jagger, speak freely about my grief, and feel seen.
Why are you sharing Jagger’s story today?
I’m sharing Jagger’s story because I want to save another baby’s life. I want to help parents understand safer sleep. I don’t say this from a place of judgement — I say it as a mother who has lived through the unimaginable. Safer sleep guidance exists for a reason. I just want others to know the risks, because I didn’t think this could happen to us.
How do you remember Jagger?
Foxes are deeply symbolic for our family. The night Jagger died, my mum had a dream about a fox turning to look at her. She woke up immediately and somehow knew something had happened. Since then, black and grey foxes, pennies, dimes, and baby bird feathers have all been signs that remind us he’s near. Whenever we see a fox, we feel a small sense of peace.
I’ve found ways to keep Jagger close to me. I have several tattoos in his memory — one even has his ashes mixed into the ink. I volunteer by helping to make bracelets for other bereaved parents. I speak to him every day and ask him to send me signs, like leaving pennies in my path, baby bird feathers or a fox.
On the hardest days, I ask Jagger for a sign. It always appears.
Discover more
Remembering your baby
Having a sense of a continued connection with a baby or young child who died is an important part of navigating grief. This page offers ideas for ways to remember and honour a little one.
Grieving and common feelings
When someone we love dies, we experience overwhelming feelings of loss and sorrow, which we call grief.
Having another baby
The decision to have another baby is a very personal one and sometimes you and your partner may not agree about the prospect or the timing.
You can support people like Haley
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.