How to support a loved one
Bereaved families share examples of something that someone said or did that helped them after their baby died.
Here for you this Mother’s Day, and every day
The lead up to Mother’s Day can be full of mixed emotions. Bereaved families might struggle to understand what they need, or express how they feel.
Here, we share advice on coping with Mother’s Day if you are a bereaved or grieving mum. We also share advice for those supporting grieving or bereaved mums.
Coping with Mother's Day
Mother’s Day can be a challenging day. Here are some things that may help this Mother’s Day.
- Find meaningful ways to remember your baby and feel connected to them. Whether by lighting a candle, walking, talking about your little one, planting flowers, drawing, writing or saving a seat or space for them. Whatever feels right for you is important.
- Acknowledge how you feel, without feeling pressured to be anything other than what you feel. If naming your emotions feels difficult, writing a letter may help put feelings into words.
- Talk to someone. You may find comfort in reaching out to family or friends who you know will understand and support you. Sometimes it can be helpful to speak to someone who isn’t as close. Call our bereavement support helpline on 0808 802 6868.
Supporting a bereaved mum on Mother's Day
Remember that everyone is different, and every experience unique. You know your loved one best, but here are some thoughts to keep in mind.
- Say something, as it is always better than saying nothing. A simple text or a call to say that you’re thinking of them can mean a lot.
- Offer support before Mother’s Day itself. Often, acknowledgement in advance is more helpful and meaningful in the run up to the day, rather than only on Mother’s Day itself.
- Acknowledge the motherhood to all of her children. Say the name of the baby or child who died. You might want to say, “I’ve been thinking about you and (child’s name) a lot recently.” This tells her that you see her, all her children, her grief and ongoing role as a mother to all of her children.
- A thoughtful gift, card or note shows that you’re holding her, and her child, in your thoughts. You may choose to send flowers, donate to a meaningful charity in memory of their child, or send a card.
- Offer her space to talk if she wishes to. Even simply acknowledging the complexity of all her feelings in the lead up to Mother’s Day is a helpful start. This can open the door for further, deeper conversations – perhaps ones that she didn’t feel she could have with people close to her.
We're with you in grief this Mother’s Day, and any day you need us.
Our bereavement support helpline is open from 10:00am - 2:00pm midweek, 6:00pm – 10:00pm on weekends and public holidays.
0808 802 6868.
Grieving and common feelings
When someone we love dies, we experience overwhelming feelings of loss and sorrow, which we call grief.
Bereavement support helpline
If you would like the opportunity to talk freely, for as long as required, with a sympathetic and understanding listener, please contact us via our bereavement helpline or send an email.
Podcasts, playlists and other media
We understand the impact a sudden infant death can have on a family and recommend the following media to try and help support families during this difficult time.