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We offer confidential support to anyone affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child.
Tell us about your family
My name is Chloe, and I live in the North East of Scotland with my partner and our baby daughter. I was born here, though I’ve lived in Edinburgh, Dundee and London for work and university. We love being outdoors as a family, exploring the countryside and keeping active. I also enjoy running and the gym, so we bought an all-terrain buggy to take our little one along on adventures.
Tell us about your time as a paediatric nurse
Before my daughter was born, I worked as a paediatric nurse. Around eight years ago, I was part of a resuscitation case in A&E where a baby had sadly died after being brought in by ambulance. The baby’s mother had fallen asleep beside them. It was utterly heartbreaking. There was nothing any of us could do to comfort her in that moment. It stayed with me long after, the huge sense of despair and sadness.
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It took time for the tragedy of this event to set in and for my own brain to process how I felt. When I cared for other people’s babies outside of work, I often thought about that mother and wondered how she was coping. The experience made me mindful of how I was managing the little one I was looking after, especially during naps and feeds.
Chloe
How did this impact you when you became pregnant with your baby?
As a nurse, I assumed I’d feel confident about caring for my own baby, but people mean it when they say that nothing truly prepares you for having a baby. It completely floored me; the sleep deprivation, learning how to feed and the detective work to figure out why they’re crying!
I feel this already lowers your emotional capacity and I immediately felt extreme anxiousness around putting our baby girl into her cot to sleep for fear she would be unsafe and at risk of SIDS.
What helped you?
The Lullaby Trust’s website became my go-to resource during pregnancy and those first few weeks. I’d always known of the charity as a reliable, evidence-based source of information, but I hadn’t realised there was more than just safe sleeping information.
We used The Lullaby Trust’s website as a bit of a bible for buying things like her cot and sleeping bag. I used their advice when setting up our daughter’s sleep space and dressing her appropriately for the room temperature, especially as the months became colder.
All of this helped alleviate my worries around safer sleeping and product safety. I wouldn’t have been confident in my knowledge to make decisions for our little girl without this information.
Did you know that The Lullaby Trust supports everyone affected by the death of a baby or young child, including professionals?
I wasn’t aware that The Lullaby Trust also offers bereavement support for professionals who have experienced the death of a baby in their work. That kind of support is so important. These events can stay with you for years, and sometimes resurface when you go through big life changes, like becoming a parent yourself. But it’s important to recognise when it’s impacting your day-to-day life.
If you’re a professional who has had a similar experience, reach out for help from someone who has time, empathy and listening skills. You don’t always need advice, just someone who will hold space for your emotions.
Why are you sharing your story?
I wanted to share my story because The Lullaby Trust played such an important role in helping me feel confident and informed. I wanted to support them, and maybe my experience might resonate with someone, or validate another person’s experience.
Discover more
Clare’s story
Clare ran the London Marathon this year with her daughter, Georgie, and her friend Emma. Clare ran in memory of her son Harry, who would've been 30 this year.
Supporting a bereaved family
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Car seats are essential for your baby’s safety while driving, but babies shouldn’t sleep in them for long periods.
You can support people like Chloe
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.