Camila’s story

What does Sophia’s sleep set up look like at the moment? 

Now that Sophia is six months, we are transitioning her from sleeping in our room, to sleeping in her own bedroom at night. The transition is gradual but she’s getting there. She tends to start off at night in her own bedroom in her cot and sleeping bag, and then after waking up a few times she comes into our bedroom. We also have a monitor watching her when she’s in her room which has been really helpful for us. 

At what point did you access The Lullaby Trust’s information?  

I knew of the Lullaby Trust pretty early on from friends, but mostly because my aunt, Stella, leads the Care of Next Infant (CONI) programme there. As soon as I became pregnant, I went and spoke to her! My family link to The Lullaby Trust, coupled with the fact that I can’t help but research everything, meant I felt very familiar and comfortable with safer sleep guidelines. 

James‘ parents are slightly older than mine and weren’t as well rehearsed with the guidelines. A lot has changed since before the guidance first came into effect. I feel as though we’ve become pretty good at cutting out a lot of advice from family members that doesn’t follow the research-based guidance. It can be hard to stay strong, but we just have to tell them it’s not safe. 

What information stood out to you/did you find most useful? 

The section on The Lullaby Trust’s website with information for other care givers was really useful. It’s a great page to pass on to babysitters or grandparents. It gives me confidence that they will know how to sleep Sophia as safely as possible, even if they may not be as familiar with it.  

I still use their temperature guidelines now to get advice on what to dress Sophia in. She was born in July and was in special care after she was born, where they kept her in a very warm environment. The guidelines about how to keep her at the right temperature in these colder months has been really useful.  

A webpage that James found useful was about using second-hand products. He was unaware of the various things to consider before using something pre-owned. 

Tell me your thoughts on those ‘perfect parenthood’ messages on social media and in conversations with other parents about safer sleep  

The 3am doom scrolling is pretty strong for me! I see these ‘sleep consultants’ all over Instagram, and sometimes I just think, maybe I should pay £600 for a sleep consultant and everything will be fine! But really I’m just sleep deprived. I also see people giving their babies toys to cuddle in their cot, some of these toys even have a heartbeat and their chest moves. You can get sucked into these things and feel the need to buy it, but we know that having toys in the cot isn’t advised. It’s just people trying to earn money- it’s not actually good for your baby. 

I wish social media was more the ‘real world’ and honest, not the hyped-up world that we see. Influencers should post about what it’s really like, and how trying to get their baby to sleep last night was impossible! 

How did the sleep deprivation make you feel?  

With a new born, all they want to do is sleep. Now Sophia is six months, she’s fighting sleep, which does take a lot of energy.  

It’s important to have people to talk to. One of my friends is a midwife and she has a newborn so I like to speak to her. I think that if you do make a mistake, it’s important not to beat yourself up about it. Know what is safe, but give yourself a little bit of grace. 

Were you tempted by any ‘hacks’ that aim to make your baby sleep longer, or more deeply?  

Online there’s a lot about how to get your baby sleeping through the night. I don’t know many adults that sleep a full night without waking up. It’s alien to me that people want babies to sleep through the night. 

I was once given a baby nest by someone, and they told me to use it. We know it’s actually not a safe way to sleep Sophia.  

People don’t really think about it that much, they might just think that if they’re falling asleep, they’ll be fine. But you need to make sure you’re doing all you can to prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). There’s a reason the rates have gone down and it’s because of the safer sleep guidance. 

If you could give one tip to other new/expectant parents, what would it be?   

My tip to other new or expectant parents would be to remember it’s temporary.