Fundraising events and challenges
We’ve got a superb range of running, cycling, walking and other challenge events that are ready for you to conquer. They’re a fantastic way to raise money, get fitter and have lots of fun.
Tell me a bit about you
I live in north-west London with my family, and I’m currently in year 12 studying for my International Baccalaureate exams. I’m applying to go to university currently. I’m also a keen skier, and I’m on a skiing holiday in France right now.
What’s your connection to The Lullaby Trust?
My little brother, Krishan, died of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) when he was a couple of months old, and when I was two. The Lullaby Trust supported my parents, and has been there throughout my life.
I remember snippets of Krishan’s short life. I remember when the ambulance came. I remember the red and blue lights flashing. I remember my grandparents came. It was such a shock for everyone and nobody fully knew what was happening. And with SIDS, you never really get a proper reason why.
My parents had a really tough time, and had to continue looking after me whilst they were going through all of that, though my Mum tells me I was her reason to carry on and keep going. I’ve spoken about Krishan with my parents, but I often wait for them to bring him up first. My mum still gets upset when we talk about it, although she speaks about it now with more calmness. My dad doesn’t tend to show his sadness as much. It’s an Indian tradition to spread a family member’s ashes in a holy place. I remember that my dad went to the Himalayas to scatter Krishan’s ashes which I think was a really hard experience. I know that was really tough for him. My mum didn’t go with him because she was looking after me and she says that her going wasn’t really considered at the time.
Can you tell me about your experience as a bereaved sibling?
My parents definitely had a conversation with me when I was younger about what happened to Krishan, but I think it was something I gradually learnt and came to terms with as I grew up. I’ve started to understand now. I feel able and ready to speak up in my own right as Krishan’s sister, and not just my mum’s daughter.
There’s quite a big age gap, five years, between me and my younger brother now. I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have a third child in the family, and what Krishan would’ve been like. I want to help others with my story, and I want more people to know about The Lullaby Trust.
I remember attending The Lullaby Trust’s family days when I was a child. It was a time we could remember Krishan positively, my Mum seemed motivated and energized. I have memories of sitting on a merry-go-round, of seeing people wearing the yellow t-shirt with the logo on, doing arts and crafts, and handing badges out. I was always at events helping mum volunteer, doing a bunch of activities. I remember baking loads of cakes for “bake it for babies” – half my nursery ordered cakes, I think to support my Mum and the cause she cared about, and we were a bit overwhelmed with all the cooking but it was for a great cause.
Can you tell me a bit more about the support your parents received?
We’re lucky that we have a very close family. My mum’s siblings came over every day after Krishan died, and her twin sister would drop her a coffee outside her front door every single day, because that was her favourite drink. My mum says they were always there for them. When my parents went on to have another child, my younger brother, they were hypervigilant about him. The Lullaby Trust gave them a monitor to use on the Care of Next Infant (CONI) programme, which was able to ease their worries a bit. My mum said how grateful she was. He’s a happy and healthy 11-year-old now.
My mum is so passionate about raising awareness of SIDS, and helping others. She used to help by having phone calls as a befriender with other grieving parents who were struggling.
What things do you do to remember him, or involve him in your life today?
We celebrate Krishan’s birthday every year, and we sometimes go to the temple or cut a cake. My mum wants to mark it as she doesn’t want Krishan to be forgotten. I grew up really close to my five cousins, and we would always hold a picture of Krishan up when we took photos. We also once made a decoration with all our names on, and included Krishan’s. One of my cousins is the same age Krishan would be now, and their birthdays are quite close together. Every time that day rolls around, I know that my mum and dad are thinking about Krishan aswell.
-
My parents sometimes organise fundraisers and bake sales for The Lullaby Trust, and even if it’s not directly said, we know that it’s for Krishan. It was this bake sale that inspired me to do a sponsored swim.
Talk us through your sponsored swim fundraiser
I used to swim competitively and my club was raising money via a sponsored swim for another charity. I wanted to raise money for a charity that was close to my heart so I decided to do a sponsored swim for The Lullaby Trust. It was 150 – 200 lengths of the pool and at that age it took me over an hour swimming pretty much constantly. I remember being very tired but it was a really successful fundraiser.
It was when I was about ten or eleven that even though I didn’t feel too upset myself, I saw what was happening to my family and my parents. I saw how important the charity was to my mum and started to understand what had happened, and think about what Krishan would be like.
Discover more
Become a befriender
Becoming a befriender is a rewarding experience where you can offer support and guidance to others in their own bereavement.
Stefan’s story
Following the death of his brother Dane, Stefan has become one of our most inspiring fundraisers, recently taking part in the World’s Toughest Mudder.
You can support people like Siya
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.