Having another baby
The decision to have another baby is a very personal one and sometimes you and your partner may not agree about the prospect or the timing.
Tell us about your family
Kieran and I have three children; two beautiful girls and a wonderful little boy. Ella, our eldest daughter, is 10 years old. Our middle child, Amy, passed away when she was three years old. Oliver, our youngest, has just turned 18-months-old. We also have a cheeky labrador – Jasper. Amy had a wonderful relationship with our dog Jasper, who she called ‘Jaspie’.
Tell us about Amy
Amy was known for her gorgeous red curls, big brown eyes and cheeky smile. She loved dresses and jewellery and wouldn’t leave the house without her colourful necklaces and bracelets on. Amy was determined, kind, funny, and caring. She was a whizz at jigsaw puzzles and loved doing arts and crafts and dancing with her big sister in the kitchen. Amy had a real love for animals, big and small. Animals instantly warmed to her gentle spirit, and we always imagined Amy growing up to be a vet.
Talk us through this time
When Amy died our whole world was thrown into turmoil and it was very difficult to see a way forward. Our immediate focus was on surviving and supporting our eldest daughter, Ella. After experiencing such devastation at such an early age, we wanted to focus on her and do the best we could to make sure she was as okay as she could be.
When did you consider having another child?
We had always considered having a third child. However, after Amy died, the idea of having another baby felt overwhelming and I wasn’t sure how I would manage it alongside my grief. Something that helped me was meeting other bereaved families further down the line, who had gone on to have subsequent children after their baby or child had died. Talking to them and hearing about their experiences helped me feel more hopeful.
When you became pregnant with Oliver, how did The Lullaby Trust’s CONI programme support you?
We heard about the Care of Next Infant (CONI) programme and weren’t sure if we’d be eligible for support, because every area chooses to adopt CONI differently. We were very grateful for the support of the CONI programme. It was a huge support during my pregnancy and Oliver’s first year. Our CONI paediatrician was able to arrange additional cardiac screening for Oliver before we left hospital, which was reassuring. The paediatric passport was so helpful in ensuring we could access medical professionals quickly when we needed it, and signal to hospital staff about our situation.
How did you choose to support CONI?
We wanted to give back as a way to say thank you for the support we received on CONI. Oliver was born on National Rainbow Baby Day (22nd August) which was very special for us as Amy loved rainbows, and we often see them on significant days.
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We gave a grant of £1,500 to The Lullaby Trust, to support the CONI programme in memory of Amy and to mark Oliver’s first birthday and National Rainbow Day.
Laura
Why did you set up the Amy Robinson Foundation in Amy’s name?
We established the Amy Robinson Foundation in her memory because we wanted to support families affected by the loss of a child.
We provide therapy grants to families to access support from professionals experienced in dealing with child bereavement. The grants can be used for parents to access therapeutic support following the loss of a child, or for children affected by the loss of a sibling. The recognised therapies we support include traditional counselling along with lesser known options such as art therapy, play therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and cognitive behavioural therapy.
Alongside our therapy grants programme we also raise awareness of sudden unexplained death in childhood (SUDC) and provide grants to a range of charities in the field of child bereavement. We have previously supported The Lullaby Trust, SUDC UK, SLOW, The Compassionate Friends, 4Louis and Child Bereavement UK.
Amy’s life was full of love, and her legacy is also one of love. She is forever a part of me and her love inspires me in everything I do.
Discover more
Seyi’s story
Following the loss of her middle child, IyanuOluwa (meaning ‘wonders of God’), Seyi nominated The Lullaby Trust to be charity of choice at the company she works for.
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