I am Carson’s grannie and Chelsi’s mum. Here is my story…

Carson was born on 21st June 2010… my life totally changed for the better and I felt the happiest I had been for many years. Carson was a truly beautiful baby boy and I was so proud. The summer was in full swing, my daughter was a fantastic mummy… we had so many things to look forward to with Carson.

On 7th August Carson came home around 10pm.. Chelsi’s boyfriend’s family had him for the day and took him to meet many of his other family members. He was fast asleep in his car seat when he came home. I placed him on the sofa and did not disturb him as he looked soo content. Around 1am he stirred so I made him a bottle. I loved it when he woke, he would make little silly noises and would purse his little lips and search the air for food. He took all his bottle and loved it! I changed him, and he was wide awake. So content and smiling at me. He laid on the sofa next to me and I sang to him, had tickle time. I was such a silly grannie and he loved that. I kept saying night, love you, see you in the morning! It was something I always said to my children even though they were 18 and 19!!

Carson was so happy that night and I treasure my last moments with him forever.

Chelsi came home and it was a beautiful summer’s morning. Carson fell sound asleep and me and Chelsi knew he would stir around 5am so we sat on the patio and watched the sun rise, mother and daughter it was wonderful. Carson woke as predicted he was fed and I put them both to bed – she’s still my little girl you see!

I knew he was gone. This little man who I loved so much had left us.

The next thing I knew was hearing this horrific screaming coming through my bedroom wall, frantic banging, was I dreaming?? I sat bolt upright and shook my head. Then I realised it was Chelsi…my god I just shot out of bed straight into her room. Oh my god! This just was not happening!! She had Carson in her arms and looked at me sobbing! She reminded me of when she was a little girl and her dolly had broken…her eyes frantic…wanting me to mend it!! This time it wasn’t a dolly it was her son!! I grabbed him from her. I somehow went into automatic pilot. I placed him in his Moses basket and screamed for Chelsi to ring 999. I began breathing into his little cherub’s mouth. He was still so warm, surely this will work, but nothing was happening. Oh my god please help me. I began to pump his little chest, was I doing it right?? Nothing was happening. I remember shouting please Carson please don’t do this to us, come on sweetheart, come on, his little face so perfect. His little pursed lips.. slightly open…nothing happened…

I knew he was gone. This little man who I loved so much had left us. Carson Lee had died and I couldn’t mend him for my little girl.The paramedic came. I just ran outside. I couldn’t breath I felt like I had given him all my breath.I felt dizzy, confused, frightened, I felt like this was a film, this was not real. But it was real, this was a nightmare, a real nightmare.

The ambulance came and I just screamed for them to help my grandson. He is blue I said, he’s not breathing. Please do something! The next hours were a blur, the hospital, the doctors, the police questions. I had to give the police my keys as they needed to take Carsons things.I was upset but knew they had to do it – proceedure.

Our little man..our ray of sunshine was dead.
I knew life would never be the same again, and it isnt. We miss him, Carson Lee forever our angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx