The decision to have another baby is a very personal one and sometimes you and your partner may not agree about the prospect or the timing. It may be helpful to discuss future children with a doctor or paediatrician.
You may find that having another baby can be a worrying time, with many mixed feelings: happiness and anxiety, overwhelming love and fear of loving too much.
If your child was over a year old, you may already be pregnant again, or have another very young baby.
If you are in a new relationship your new partner may have difficulty understanding your thoughts and feelings, especially if they have not experienced the strength of the bond that exists between a parent and child. It is helpful to talk honestly about such feelings and to try to show patience if they lack understanding at first. It may be helpful to show your new partner this leaflet and other literature on sudden infant death.
Whatever your situation, contact with the Care of Next Infant (CONI) programme can be a great support.
Finding support from our CONI and CONI Plus programmes
The Lullaby Trust’s Care of Next Infant (CONI) programme is available to support bereaved parents when they have another baby. Using symptom diaries, weighing scales, movement monitors, thermometers, weight charts and regular visits from health visitors, parents can monitor their baby’s progress, helping to ease some of the worries.
CONI Plus may be available to the extended families of a child who died of SIDS or ‘unexplained SUDI’, and to parents of children who died suddenly of other causes or whose baby suffered an apparent life-threatening event.
The schemes are available through many hospitals and community health centres. It is important to mention that unfortunately the CONI scheme isn’t available everywhere and can differ between areas. This depends whether the programme has been commissioned as an element of the local Health Visiting services.
As you can imagine, we’d like CONI to be available absolutely everywhere and we’ll continue pushing to gain funding for the programme.
A bereaved mum said of CONI:
“My wonderful, wonderful consultant and midwife team made me aware of the CONI Scheme. This became a lifeline for me. As I neared the end of my pregnancy, the CONI Scheme offered me and my family first aid training in our home and provided an apnoea monitor for our baby to monitor his breathing as they do in hospitals. A sophisticated piece of equipment, which gave me great comfort in the early months.”
For more information and to find out if there is a CONI or CONI Plus scheme in your area, contact the CONI team on 0207 802 3206 or The Lullaby Trust’s Helpline on 0808 802 6868