Baby holding hands

It may be helpful to discuss future children with a doctor or paediatrician. No baby can replace your son or daughter who died, for each is a special individual with his or her own personality.

You may find that having another baby can be a worrying time, with many mixed feelings: happiness and anxiety, overwhelming love and fear of loving too much.

One mum told The Lullaby Trust:

“The death of Tom shattered all our dreams. I still fear contact with babies and I am frightened of loving our new baby too much.”

If you are in a new relationship your new partner may have difficulty understanding your thoughts and feelings, especially if they have not experienced the strength of the bond that exists between a parent and baby. It is helpful to talk honestly about such feelings and to try to show patience with any initial lack of understanding. It may be helpful to show your new partner this page and other literature on sudden infant death.

Finding support from our CONI and CONI Plus programmes

Our Care of the Next Infant (CONI) programme is available to support bereaved parents when they have another baby. Using symptom diaries, weighing scales, movement monitors, thermometers, weight charts and regular visits from health visitors, parents can monitor their baby’s progress, helping to ease some of the worries.

CONI Plus is available to the extended families of a baby who died of Sudden Infant Death, and to parents of babies who died suddenly of other causes, or whose baby suffered an apparent life-threatening event.