When my husband and myself decided to start a family we thought it would be easy and enjoyable, but after months and months of trying it didn’t seem the case. Eventually we decide to give up trying and then to our surprise I fell pregnant.

This was our first pregnancy and we were over the moon and so excited. The pregnancy wasn’t easy, I suffered really bad with sickness to the point I ended up in hospital with Hyperemesis Gravidarum and had to be put on a drip overnight. The hospital also requested for me to have an early scan just in case it was due to carrying twins, as they run in the family. All was confirmed it was just one baby.

I was due the 1st February 2014 but went over due and after 2 failed sweeps I was induced. On the 12th February 2014 our healthy little girl arrived. Darcey was the name we gave her and she was a very healthy baby. She was such a happy and content little girl, she loved listening to music and one of her favourite songs was “ Clean Bandit’s Rather Be”.

During our time together we went on a little caravan holiday in Clacton and had a fab time. A few days passed and little did we know the worst thing was going to happen and something no parents ever thinks will happen. It was Sunday 20th July and Darcey woke up just like every morning very happy and smiley. It was around 9/9:30am and she had her bottle. My husband was at work early that morning and arrived home just as she was finishing her bottle. He said ‘I’m going to get an hours sleep’ and I said ‘that’s fine, Darcey seems a little tired so she can have a nap while you do.’

I had things downstairs that needed doing e.g. cleaning bottles, washing and hoovering, and then we were planning on going out shopping once we were all up and dressed. I laid Darcey back down to sleep around 10am and went downstairs. 15 minutes later I went up and checked on her and she was still asleep so I continued with bits downstairs. I then went to check on her again at 10:30am and my life flashed before my eyes, my little girl was laying there lifeless and not breathing. Her face was so pale and I screamed ‘Andrew wake up, Darcey isn’t breathing’ (a vision I will never be able to erase from my mind).

Andrew took her off me and he ran downstairs and started CPR while I rang 999 and within 5 minutes they had arrived. For 45 minutes they were trying and then they told us we are going to take her to the hospital. Another 45 minutes they were trying at the hospital and then the doctor walked over and told us ‘I’m so sorry she has gone’. The staff at the hospital were absolutely amazing, they was so supportive. One challenging part was being at the hospital being made to feel like I was a criminal, like myself or my husband had done something wrong or it was our fault. I understand the police had a job to do and Darcey was evidence but to us she was our little girl and being told we weren’t allowed to touch her until the inspector had been was heart breaking.

8 years on and we still don’t understand why she passed away and why it was us. When she had a post-mortem they told us there wasn’t anything wrong and she was a healthy, happy little girl that fell asleep and just never woke up. One thing professionals could learn from this experience is looking more into if SIDS is genetic, as I’m the third generation in my family to have gone through this. When it went to the Coroner’s Court they said by my story is could quite possibly be genetic but that there isn’t enough scientific evidence.

Our Bereavement Support Helpline

If you would like the opportunity to talk freely, for as long as required, with a sympathetic and understanding listener please call our bereavement support helpline on 0808 802 6868 or email support@lullabytrust.org.uk.