તમારા બાળકને યાદ કરીને
Having a sense of a continued connection with a baby or young child who died is an important part of navigating grief. This page offers ideas for ways to remember and honour a little one.
Tell us about your family
Our family have always lived very close to one another. At the time, my sister, Steph and her partner Jonny, had Joshua and Nathan (six-year-old twins) and had just had Jessica and Kimberly, who were 14-week-old twins. I was just about to travel overseas, when we got the call that Jessie had passed in her sleep.
You’re just so blindsided when a baby dies unexpectedly. In one moment, everything went from being wonderful to suddenly the world had just stopped. I had worried about potentially being away from home when an older relative may have passed away, but I would never think that a baby in the family could die. Being home and around family that day isn’t something I take for granted.
There is no template or list of steps to follow when dealing with something like the death of a baby. I went straight into practical mode, I always do cope by being practical and trying to fix things so looked for any task to keep my mind occupied and hands busy. But alongside the shock and grief of losing my niece, I had to watch my little sister and her family go through the worst pain imaginable. I just wanted to take it all away from them. I’m her big sister and I’m supposed to make things better for her.
How did you cope with your own grief whilst watching your family grieve too?
I find that people often don’t realise that aunts, uncles, cousins all grieve too. People would say, ‘Tell Steph how sorry we were to hear about Jessie.’ I really appreciated the people who said, ‘I’m sorry for your loss’, too. How do you process your own grief whilst helping someone else with theirs?
It wasn’t until I went away again for work that I started to process my own feelings fully. There are things you don’t want to burden your family with, that I could talk to people I’d meet whilst working away.
What support did your family receive at the time?
After Jessie passed away, Steph and Jonny began receiving support by The Lullaby Trust’s Care of Next Infant programme for Kimmy. Kimmy was cared for with extra check-ins and given a monitor to track her breathing, which gave us all reassurance. At a time when Steph was questioning everything and her parenting, it reminded her that she was doing everything right.
How do your family remember Jessie?
We talk about Jessie a lot and have pictures of her all over. Jessie was a happy baby, reaching her milestones and developing her personality. She was starting to talk back to us and smiling. She was definitely the laid-back twin, and left the feisty red-head personality to Kimmy!
We often talk about and imagine the things she would have done and the person she would have become. We celebrate her on special days or we might visit where she is buried, leaving windmills or windchimes. We fundraise for The Lullaby Trust every year since in her memory, and we have also helped with volunteering at bucket collections.
What fundraising have you taken on, Laura?
I’ve ran a special event run every year since Jessie passed away in 2012. 10 of those runs have been the Great North Run. Running doesn’t come easy to me, so it’s a challenge, but running with Jessie as a focus, helps on days you feel tired. She’s my motivation and always in my mind.
This year (2025), I will be running my 11th Great North Run dressed as a star! I will be attempting a World Record as “The Fastest Half Marathon Dressed as a Star (Female).”
As an aunt and as a sister, I want to do all that I can to make a difference. I can’t take away the pain of what happened, but I can put on my running shoes, put on a silly outfit and raise awareness, money and keep her memory alive. I do it to make a difference for other families going through the same thing, and make sleep safer for babies.
વધુ જાણો
અન્ય ભંડોળ ઊભુ કરનારાઓની વાર્તાઓ
Hear from other kind people who dedicate their time and energy to saving lives and supporting bereaved families.
Mark’s story
Mark is one of our incredible London Marathon runners. He lives in Leiston with his fiancée May, and his 11-month-old son, Malyn.
ભંડોળ ઊભું કરવાના કાર્યક્રમો અને પડકારો
We’ve got a superb range of running, cycling, walking and other challenge events that are ready for you to conquer. They’re a fantastic way to raise money, get fitter and have lots of fun.
You can support people like Laura
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.