Leanne’s story

Tell me a bit about Ralph and his sleep set up 

Ralph is really starting to find himself now. He’s started teething and speaking – I’m so glad that he’s managed to say ‘mama’ before ‘dada’! Up until Boxing Day, he was next to us in his next to me cot, but now that he’s over six months, he sleeps in his own room. He has his own cot with a firm, flat mattress and a waterproof cover. We keep it empty, as we know lots of toys in the cot may increase the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). 

He used to sleep in a swaddle but when he started rolling, we put him in a sleeping bag. We place him with his feet towards the foot of the cot which we saw on The Lullaby Trust website, and we make sure his room isn’t too warm or cold.

At what point did you access The Lullaby Trust’s information and what information did you find helpful?  

Our heath visitor told us about The Lullaby Trust, and it was in our red book too. We find it tricky to get Ralph down for his daytime naps, so we usually have contact naps in the day. We follow The Lullaby Trust guidance to do this safely, which has been really helpful. 

Family often talk about how when I was a baby, I had all sorts in my cot. I try and tell them that the advice has changed and it’s all research-led. It can feel a bit like they are pushing their parenting onto me, but I follow the current guidance. 

Tell me your thoughts on those ‘perfect parenthood’ messages on social media and in conversations with other parents about safer sleep  

I often see ‘sleep trainers’ on social media, advising people how to sleep their baby. In reality, every baby is different. There is also a lot of conflicting advice out there, and it can be frustrating being told one thing somewhere, and another thing somewhere else.  

Were you tempted to buy products that aim to make your baby sleep longer, or more deeply?  

Often influencers talk about using certain products, such as cot bumpers, as long as you are supervising your baby. Realistically, you can’t have eyes on your baby 24/7. We all go to the toilet or make a cup of tea. Even if you are supervising your baby, cot bumpers aren’t safe for sleeping.

Were you ever concerned about how much or how little your baby slept?  

Some of my friends’ babies have slept all the way through the night, but Ralph doesn’t do that. I’ve seen tips online to help your baby sleep longer and deeper, but they don’t work and could be dangerous. 

Ralph has had the same routine from when he was six weeks old. He has his bath, we moisturise him, put his nappy on, put him in his sleeping bag, read a story and have cuddles. He woke every hour when he was teething, but now sleeps about 2 -3 hours in his own cot.

How did the sleep deprivation make you feel?  

It’s very tough. At one point we were waking every hour and only having 30 minute blocks of sleep. Nick and I do shifts which really helps. 

When Nick was a bit poorly, it was even harder to deal with the sleep deprivation.

We often hear of parents and carers developing innovative ways to practice safer sleep, even when bone-tired or out of routine. What tips do you have to stop yourself from falling asleep in less safe positions, such as on the sofa?  

Drink plenty of water, and even splash some water on your face. That’s definitely helpful when you’re trying to stay awake. I like to readjust myself in bed so I’m sitting up, or even move to another room so I’m sitting upright in a chair, so I’m less likely to doze off. 

Coffee doesn’t always work and can give you a headache, but having decaf coffee can keep you awake. It sort of tricks me into feeling more awake even if it’s just in my head!

If you could give one tip to other new/expectant parents, what would it be?   

Well, the tip to ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ is the most unrealistic load of poo I’ve ever heard in my life! Don’t expect that’s what’s going to happen. I often want to not be asleep when Ralph is asleep. I like the time to read or put a wash on.  

A good diet is also important. You might want lots of comfort food, but healthy and nutritious food might make you feel better.