Karl’s story
Karl’s incredible and in his words, ‘bonkers’ running challenge has raised over £10,000 for The Lullaby Trust.
Tell me a bit about you
I work in marketing and I’m really into functional fitness sports, like CrossFit, and anything that gets my competitive juices flowing.
What’s a Tough Mudder?
Tough Mudder events are intense obstacle courses hosted across the globe. They’re usually 10 – 15 kilometers in length. I’ve done about 10 in total over 15 years. I did Europe’s Toughest Mudder three years ago, which was a 12-hour race, 8:00pm-8:00am and that was really tough. I managed to raise £2,427 for the Lullaby Trust as part of this. After that, I told Dawn to not let me do anything like that again!
But then they announced that the World’s Toughest Mudder would be in the UK… and I just had to do it! In the adverts, they’d used a video clip of my friend who did Europe’s with me, so we saw this as a sign that we had to take part. We didn’t know if the event would be coming to the UK again any time soon, so we had to grasp the opportunity. I again decided to fundraise for this to help me feel motivated to train. If training ever gets hard, I need that reason why I’m doing it in the back of my head.
Why did you decide to fundraise for The Lullaby Trust?
When I was born, my mum was single and met my adopted dad when I was very young. They had a baby boy called Dane. Dane was born at the end of August and then passed away from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) at the end of December.
To be honest with you, when Dane was born, I really didn’t like having him around. I was only two years old, and I felt like he was my dad’s real son, and that I had some competition. I was very unsettled. It wasn’t until early December when I started to warm to him and began to feel happy he was around.
One morning between Christmas and New Years Eve, I went into Dane’s room to go and wake him up, but he had died. Our whole world fell apart. My parents were only 22 and 23, so they were incredibly young at the time, and they had difficult things going on in their lives before this even happened. The impact that Dane’s death had on the family was immense. Blame culture started to begin, as nobody had anywhere to put their fear. Nobody had any real answers.
If The Lullaby Trust’s support was put in front of my parents, I think they would’ve been able to cope a lot better with Dane’s death. With support, they would have been able to process things in a much healthier way.
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I chose to fundraise for The Lullaby Trust because I don’t want families to go through what we had to go through. I hope that the money raised will go towards reaching more families with safer sleep guidance, to prevent sudden and unexpected deaths.
Stefan
How was the World’s Toughest Mudder?
The race was 24 hours long and consists of five-mile laps. You have to do as many laps as you can through a mixture of grass and trail which was all loose underfoot. You can’t see much in the dark, and there’s also a 200m incline on each lap which was incredibly challenging. There are 20 obstacles per lap, including monkey bars, swimming, jumping into water, and even being electrocuted!
I managed to complete eight laps, which is 40 miles. Unfortunately, I had to stop for a while in the middle because I had heat stroke, but I’ve already committed to going back next year to redeem myself!
There’s an incredible community around Tough Mudder and everyone supports each other. It’s great to be a part of such a tight, like-minded group, where there’s real camaraderie.
I’ve raised over £1,300 through my latest challenge, and I’m so thankful for everyone that’s contributed! This cause is really close to my heart, and I’m determined to do all I can to help.
How has Dane’s death impacted you?
I was a very angry teen. I was in trouble with the police a lot and just didn’t want to listen to anyone. This continued through my adolescence. When I was 30, I sought professional help, which was a complete gamechanger. It taught me about the way I process and see the world and my experiences, and how to deal with things that happen out of my control.
I knew that I had been dealing with things in an unhealthy way. I was experiencing depression and intrusive thoughts, and I knew I didn’t want to act on things, but I was experiencing these cyclical thoughts. It was so helpful to learn about how to process these thoughts.
My younger sister struggles too. Despite never meeting Dane, she experiences the grief just as much as us.
Tell us a bit about the importance of seeking bereavement support
I wish more people knew that seeking bereavement support is a helpful thing to do. You don’t have to suffer alone and bottle it up. Nowadays there’s a big conversation surrounding men’s mental health and how men tend to bottle up their emotions. Baby loss is so visceral. Too many people wait until they are on the brink of disaster to take the first step to seek support.
I’d like to be as candid and open as possible to spark more conversation about baby loss and mental health. Only good things can come from being open.
What would you say to anybody who is considering taking on a fundraising challenge for The Lullaby Trust?
Just do it. Remember why you’re doing it and use it as your motivation. Your challenge is your challenge. Relativity and perspective are so important. People don’t have to do something as hard as a Tough Mudder. Just think about how you could get people excited and what they’d want to see you succeed in. If you’re pushing yourself, people will put their hands in their pockets and support you.
Discover more
Līdzekļu vākšanas pasākumi un izaicinājumi
We’ve got a superb range of running, cycling, walking and other challenge events that are ready for you to conquer. They’re a fantastic way to raise money, get fitter and have lots of fun.
Palīdzības tālrunis bēdu atbalstam
If you would like the opportunity to talk freely, for as long as required, with a sympathetic and understanding listener, please contact us via our bereavement helpline or send an email.
Kā atbalstīt mīļoto
Bereaved families share examples of something that someone said or did that helped them after their baby died.
You can support people like Stefan
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.