Soutenez-nous au travail
Supporting a charity at work is a powerful way to foster purpose and pride among your employees while creating a positive and inclusive workplace culture.
Tell me a bit about your experience
I had my first daughter in 2020, she’s five years old and I call her my Sunshine child, the child I had before loss. I fell pregnant again soon after and on the night of my sister’s wedding, at ~36 weeks, I was told that my middle child, IyanuOluwa, didn’t have a heartbeat. So many things happened after that moment but I will always remember the carers being so compassionate. They offered me anything I might need and told me everything I had available to me to make some memories with her while I could.
The grief is unimaginable, but the support I got was amazing from my bereavement midwife. Without this support, I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it.
Who supported you?
I come from a really big family, so I was lucky to have my sisters, nieces and nephews all around me. They really all showed up for me, and my friends would bring me food and other things I needed. This was really helpful, because I didn’t know what I needed. In hindsight, it was helpful that those around me were able to do the thinking for me. After a few weeks went by and the visits started to stop, I went through a really dark spot. It was at this point; after being on the waiting list for a while, that I started therapy.
I also had my rainbow baby in 2023, he’s almost two years old. People don’t realise how difficult the pregnancy after loss journey is. It’s amazing to have a sunshine baby, my angel baby, and my rainbow baby. But it can sometime be a paradox where both joy and grief coexist which is often not really understood too.
What things do you do to remember IyanuOluwa, or involve her in your life today?
Sometimes I bring flowers to her grave, but sometimes it feels too painful. If I feel her presence and I’m led to go, I’ll go. I’ve also done a lantern release before, which was really special.
Culturally speaking, remembering the baby isn’t the norm for my culture. I’d like to break the taboos around baby loss. I’m hoping to encourage black communities who might not speak about baby loss, to have more open discussions about it and break the silence.
As a Christian, I believe in giving back, and volunteering. Volunteering is a way I honour IyanuOluwa’s memory. I spread the love I have for her, supporting other mums on this journey, hoping to make their journey less lonely and this world a better place. I’m currently a befriender for Sands, and I’m also about to start my training to be a befriender for The Lullaby Trust. One of my favourite quotes is:
How faire the company you work for choose their charity of the year?
In my company, we have lots of different Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) and COI’s. I’m part of the ‘Parenting Tribe’ COI. The company did a call out for employees from different ERGs to nominate charities that have been impactful for them as employees and aligned with the ethos of the group. I did a write up about The Lullaby Trust, because I really wanted to fundraise for the charity helping people through such dark times.
How did you go about rallying support for The Lullaby Trust?
We all know someone that has been impacted by loss whether it be sudden, a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal and that is no different in the workplace; it is only that we don’t speak about it. I have also been very open in sharing my story, hosting a session during the wellbeing week discussing grief in the workplace. Therefore, after the nomination I shared my nomination with all my friends at work and colleagues and kindly reminded them of the importance of their votes for The Lullaby Trust!
Not only did I feel it was important to raise funds, but by nominating this charity, I hoped to continue to break the silence around baby loss, and encourage families and colleagues to speak up if they chose to. I hope choosing The Lullaby Trust will open up the opportunity for employees to talk about their experiences seeking the support available to them should they wish to.
Why did you choose to share your story today?
First, I want to continue to break the silence on baby loss and encourage representation in this field. I wanted to encourage better bereavement support in the workplace, a topic that has traditionally been quite taboo everywhere. Choosing The Lullaby Trust encouraged those that may not have been affected, to not shy away from tough conversations.
Secondly, I want to honour and remember my daughter. Anything I can do in her name, I will.
Finally, I’d like to remind people that baby loss is a difficult journey, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. There might not be an end to your grief, but you grow around it. The more we share our stories, the less lonely it becomes, and the more people can feel encouraged to seek the support they need.
What would you say to other companies who may be considering choosing The Lullaby Trust for their charity of the year?
When my company threw it out to the employees for us to nominate charities dear to us, I felt I could show up to work as my authentic self and feel supported. It made me realise how authentic my company is, and how they view me not just as an employee, but as a person. When The Lullaby Trust was chosen, I felt supported and represented as a parent as a mother.
Even if The Lullaby Trust didn’t win, it gave me the opportunity to put my reasons for supporting the charity out there, and for employees to learn about each others interest and passions. Going forward this will frable us to connect on a deeper level and discuss the challenges we are facing in our lives outside of work.
En savoir plus
Le deuil et les sentiments courants
When someone we love dies, we experience overwhelming feelings of loss and sorrow, which we call grief.
Sur le lieu de travail
Bereavement support for parents in the workplace, and bereavement leave entitlement.
Partenariats avec les marques
You could be the brand behind baby safety, help to raise awareness of our life-saving safer sleep advice and ensure parents can make informed decisions about the products they they use.
You can support people like Seyi
Donate today and your kindness will empower families with trusted and life-saving baby safety advice, as well as providing a supportive space for anyone who has experienced the the sudden or unexpected death of a baby or infant.